4.12.2010

What 5th Grader Took A Sharpie To Your Chest? Want Me To Beat Them Up?

Thats Jak Cardini. He looks pretty baller out there in space doesnt he? I mean, he's not wearing a space helmet or anything. Just breathing in all that cold darkness. Tough.

But then, he has to take a shower. Or go swimming with his nephews. And this happens.
Dont get us wrong, to the left he's reppin GCPM harder than any of us, but what the hell is that reject spirograph looking thing? Is that supposed to be a Stargate? Who does he think he is, an X-Man?

We, The Gold County Paper Mill, are embarrassed to be seen on the interweb with this guy. So, we are encouraging you, our adoring fans, to get that thing the fuck off Jak's chest.

ANNOUNCING : The "Jak, Your Chest Is Little Enough, Dont Cover It In Stooopid Shit" Tattoo Re-Design Contest.

Listen Up Yawl! Here Be The Rules.

Designs need to be:
Simple.
No Color.
Relative to the existing size. This dood's chest is TINY.
Think Cheap. Like Jak did when he first got this stooopid fucking tattoo.

Email your dope ass hyper sketch to thepapermill@googlegroups.com

We will then pick a sketch and force Jak to use it to hide his shame.

*UPDATE : Contest Submissions Are Now Being Posted On Our Flickr : http://www.flickr.com/photos/21800805@N07/sets/72157623840120086/

Also, no GCPMers can enter. I know you guys want it the most, but thats just not fair!

But guess what else you get winners?!

THIS SHIT!


Impossible Objects #1 by Jak And William Cardini
There Is A Mars limited ish chapbook by Jak Cardini
Comix : TRANZ, MASKS and Froghead Hangover by William Cardini
The GCPM DVD! Including all our recorded performances AND an interactive DIGI-COMIC!

AND A CHOICE OF ONE OF THESE

THE FIRST ISSUE OF Catch Up : Louisville

_OR_
A DOPE ASS GCPM OWL T SHIRT!

ANNOUNCING THE MAKE FUN OF JAK CARDINI'S TATTOO IN THE COMMENTS SECTION CONTEST

funniest comment gets their choice of the aforementioned GCPM t-shirts

So, get to sketching, emailing and shit talking. And jak, put on a fucken shirt, bird chest!!


16 comments:

  1. First re-design entered by Hayley -Williams Parks

    http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/hoovesandhips/sarahtattoo.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  2. the worst part about it is, you were SOOO PROUD of that tattoo when you got it

    you kept going on and on about it and how it had something to do with Lateralus and you wanted to show it to Maynard so he would make out with you

    you should just get it all colored in and turn it into a black square

    ReplyDelete
  3. No, you are messing that story up. I wanted your DAD to see it so HE would make out with me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi, my name is Jak and I designed my very own tattoo with MS Paint and so can you! Square function, circle function, square function, erase function. Done.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow. I remade it in Illustrator in 37 seconds.

    ReplyDelete
  6. https://shoprockamerica.com/image.php?productid=1966

    ReplyDelete
  7. Better yet this. I think it was about the time that you got the tatoo that you wouldn't stop ranting about bohemian grove. http://library.thinkquest.org/05aug/00158/images/bgsymbol.gif

    ReplyDelete
  8. [IMG]http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/hoovesandhips/xmen.jpg[/IMG]

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hayley and Nick4/13/10, 12:26 AM

    http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/hoovesandhips/xmen.jpg

    http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/hoovesandhips/tooleye.jpg

    http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/hoovesandhips/frame.jpg

    http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/hoovesandhips/detour.jpg

    http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/hoovesandhips/double.jpg

    http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/hoovesandhips/doubledetour.jpg

    http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/hoovesandhips/aha.jpg

    http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/hoovesandhips/awesome.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dood. Cant You guys READ? E M A I L those images.

    ReplyDelete
  11. H & N W-P4/13/10, 12:43 AM

    You write too much. I have a headache. Make up your mind. Now post all our shit.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Black Square is a good idea. But I say you should definitely get a third nipple tattooed in the box. Even get some hairs in there. Hell, maybe you could tatoo hair on your chest so you could have a hairy chest.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Goatse.cx?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Man Mr. Anonymous, couldnt you have chosen a newer/grosser internet meme? Goatse? Really? Is this '01? Did the first matrix movie just come out?

    At least you couldve gone with JapScat or Two Girls One Cup.

    Lets try harder next time.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Goatse is an internet icon. It's kind of like the Mona Lisa of internet pictures.

    ReplyDelete

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